The inner critic: where it comes from and how to come to terms with it
Author: The Narcis editorial team · updated: July 26, 2026
Clinical review: a practising psychotherapist
The “inner critic” is a convenient name for self-critical thoughts and internal rules. They can form under the influence of family, school, culture, experiences of failure, perfectionism, and other factors. Sometimes self-criticism serves a protective function, as though trying to make us avoid mistakes or rejection. But that is not its only possible function.
What it is even for
The paradox is that the critic is trying to protect you. “I will criticise myself first, and it will hurt less when others do.” “I will drive myself hard so I do not relax and mess up.” The problem is that the price of this protection is constant anxiety and exhaustion.
What to do
Notice it. “Ah, there is the critic again.” That alone creates distance: the voice is there, but it is not the same as the truth.
Ask yourself: would you say this to a friend? We say things to ourselves that we would never say to someone we love. Try that same compassionate tone on yourself.
Do not argue; answer like an adult: “Thank you, I heard you. I can make mistakes and still be enough.” The aim is not to kill the critic but to turn its volume down.
When to see a therapist
If the critic is almost always audible, devalues every success, and feeds anxiety or apathy, it is good material for therapy. There you can trace whose voice it actually is, and reclaim your right to be imperfect.
If this topic resonated — you do not have to sit with it alone.
Find a therapist for this topic →This article is for information only and is not a substitute for an individual consultation with a specialist.